One of my favorite church outreaches is
providing Oneonta's downtown partygoers with free rides home. Almost every time we do it, I receive the same compliment from at least one person, "This is the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me." Hearing this always strikes me as odd because I think to myself, "Really? You must be exaggerating, it's just a free ride home." But the more I think about it, the more I see that these rides are more than taking people home; they're about treating people with dignity.
Granted, I'm aware that an inebriated person has a tendency to make grandiose statements such as this, but when I hear this same grandiose statement over and over again, I begin to take it seriously and analyze the reasoning behind the compliment.
A Brief Lesson About Human Dignity
To begin, let's look at the concept of human dignity. A simple definition of the word tells us that dignity is:
The state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. From a societal perspective, a person treated with dignity is dependent upon earning such honor and respect via their achievements or behavior. This is why foolish actions are seen as behavior that's undignified.
Now let's add to this definition Christianity's take on human dignity, which teaches that every single person is worthy of respect and honor and should be treated with dignity, even people that we may feel do not deserve it, like those guilty of foolish behavior and even our enemies. This stems from a fundamental teaching of Christian theology that says every person is created in the image of God, and therefore, every person should be treated as one would treat God--with honor and respect.
This idea of human dignity originating from God's image is what motivates Christan social work, and it's deeply tied to
the mission of The Redemption Movement: "To restore lost and hurting people
who are valued by God." This is why our church
does so much community outreach, like the
designated driving ministry.
Showing Dignity In a Very Undignified Society
Now, when we look at human dignity in light of our capitalistic society, it becomes obvious that an institution treating a person solely as a resource, commodity, or means to a financial end, strips the person of their God-given dignity by telling them, "You only have worth if I can profit from you." Any consumer-driven institution, business, or organization is guilty of this to some degree, and sadly, a church that's obsessed with results-oriented programs and professionalism can easily get off message and fall into this trap of only respecting and showing honor to those who can further their goals.
This lack of dignity is especially prevalent in a capitalistic society like America. I think this explains how it's possible for an upstate NY college student to be absolutely blown away by a simple act of kindness. We treat them with the honor and respect deserving of a holy God, despite the fact that they may perpetuate less-than-honorable behavior. It may actually be the case that no one has ever treated them in a truly dignified manner before.
What makes an act of kindness like a free ride extra powerful is the fact that we're showing unmerited favor to people participating in an environment where dignity is difficult, if not impossible to come by--the alcohol-fueled party scene.
Okay, before I expound further on this and critique the party scene and the behavior it celebrates, I feel like I should first mention that when we offer free rides to partygoers, we're totally nonjudemental about it. We'll give a ride and show respect and honor to anyone, no matter how inebriated they are, even if they're being a jerk to us about the whole God thing. Again, this goes back to human dignity originating from God's image instead of one's behavior.
Why You Won't Find the Respect You Deserve At a Party
That being said, here are just a few ways that the bar-hopping party scene lacks dignity (generalizations are obviously being made):
- Bars, restaurants, and cabs treat people as customers to profit from. There's nothing wrong with making a living, but there's something shallow about a relationship based off a transaction.
- Getting drunk shows a lack of respect to one's own body and personhood. From the standpoint of behavior-based dignity, there's nothing dignified about poisoning your body and putting yourself at risk by clouding your judgement. And the whole "your body is a temple thing," that's about God's spirit dwelling inside a person, and this temple idea goes back to finding dignity from being made in God's image. The drunkenness I've seen firsthand from people downtown I've tried to comfort who have vomited and urinated on themselves isn't funny, it's sad.
- Drinking buddies only stick around if there's booze, and they're quick to drop you if they meet someone better. I've seen this countless times when giving rides to partygoers feeling jilted after their friends left them behind, causing some serious drama. This is not a new problem; in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son, he tells of the younger brother character who left home with a ton of money and spent it on "wild-living." As soon as he ran out of money, his "friends" were nowhere to be found.
- In the hookup culture, people are treated like sexual objects that are disposable, instead of being fully honored by a committed mate. Participants of casual sex act like nothing is wrong about it. They're proud of their sexual conquests, claiming that it's part of their sexual identity. I believe that, eventually, the pain and heartbreak that accompanies a lifestyle of being used and abused by multiple partners will break through, causing one to long for a partner that shows them dignity by fully respecting them for who they are, instead of only for what their body can offer.
- Many students feel like the entire community of Oneonta sees them only as a way to make money. As I drive students home and insist that the ride is free, many are blown away by the gesture because they feel like the city and its residents are trying to squeeze them for every nickel they have. Oneonta's young adults are hungry for a community where they feel valued and accepted for who they are, not for how much money they can cough up.
Would You Like a Free Ride Home?
Now put yourself in the middle of this nightlife environment: You're with your flaky friends going from bar to bar being pressured to buy drinks. You've been hit on by some scummy people and you're feeling sick from drinking too much. Meanwhile, half your friends ditched you and you're considering going home with a stranger. All the while, you're frustrated that you're still living in this small town because you feel like nobody here appreciates the skills and passions you have to offer.
At 2AM, you step outside the bar and see an odd sight: Two guys wearing matching blazers holding a sign that reads "Act of Kindness, FREE RIDE, Don't Drink & Drive."
"What is this? No way. This can't be free. Nothing is free. Who would do such a thing? Why? What's the catch?"
Curiosity gets the best of you and you approach the duo standing in front of the clean blue car with a handmade "Free Ride" sign on the door and tap light on the roof. You ask them twenty questions and they assure you that's it's really free and that they're just trying to help people. You're on the fence about it until a random student walks by, high fives the guy holding the sign, and then emphatically tells you, "This guy is legit, he gave me a ride last week!" (This happens quite a bit)
You cautiously get in the
backseat of the car with your cell phone at the ready, just in case. The driver says "Where to?" You tell him, he replies, "Not a problem," and pulls onto Main Street. That's when you spot a sign in the car pointing to a backseat pocket stocked full of free bottled water. You're thirsty, so ask if it's okay to have one. You're told to help yourself and you do, after making sure that the seal isn't broken.
As the ride continues, you learn that the driver is the pastor of a local church, this is his personal car, and he and his friend are volunteering their time to "show people God's love." On top of that, the driver won't stop asking you questions about yourself, "Where are you from?" "What's your major?" "What are your plans for after you graduate?" "What do you think about Oneonta?" It's like the guy genuinely cares about you, and it's obviously not in a sexual way or anything like that because he won't shut up about his family.
You think to yourself, "What's going on here? Why's he being so nice? Does he actually care about me? Why is he being so respectful of me when he doesn't even know me? Isn't he a religious person? Shouldn't he hate me for being such a 'bad person' according to all of his stupid religious rules?"
This is all too much so you offer to pay him. He refuses. You flash a dollar bill and insist, but he turns your money down a second time and goes on a bit more about God's love and insists that the ride is free "because God's love is free."
Then it hits you. It's such an epiphany that you can't help but speak it aloud, "Wow, this is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me."
A few miles later, you're dropped off at your home safe and sound. You thank the two gentlemen for the ride and walk to your front door with a water bottle in hand, along with what he calls a "kindness card." What a unique experience that was. You're not even bothered by all the drama of the night because it all seems rather silly in light of this act of kindness.
Showing Diginity Changes Hearts
I see this story all the time. It shows the power of a small act of kindness and how treating a person with love, respect, honor, and dignity can cause them to reevaluate what kindness really looks like in the midst of a cynical culture that just doesn't seem to care.
Our church does this outreach for the good people of downtown Onenta as often as we can. We're closing in on 500 free rides given at the time of this writing. Check out
our designated driving page to read a report about every one of our DD outings, and
join the Oneonta Designated Driving Crew on Facebook to help serve the community with free rides.
-
Kaler
